I’ve been having some really vivid dreams lately, I don’t know if it’s Christmas or the fact I’m pregnant but whatever it is every night lately feels like a mad adventure. This morning, I’m going to write about three dreams I had last night and I’ll post them individually as a series. All the dreams were really vivid and all on a single theme: rape, specifically mine.
Road rage
My first dream was very loosely based on something that happened years ago. Basically, I had been in the car with a friend, she was driving when a man in a lorry got angry and chased us for miles up the road. We eventually left the main road and stopped at some traffic lights. He jumped out of his lorry and started walking over to us like he was gonna beat us (big guy trying to beat two girls) so my friend just put her foot down, jumped the light and off we went. The car had been low on petrol so we turned off the road into the petrol station and he drove past.
In my dream, I was driving all alone on a motorway to start with when the same lorry driver got angry with me and began chasing me up the road. I lost him but by then I was on a long straight empty road – the sort of thing you see in the movies. In my dream there was no petrol station and my car ran out of petrol I guess because it stopped by the side of the road and I couldn’t get it going again, which since I can’t drive in real life isn’t much of a surprise!!
I’m stopped by the side of the road trying to get signal to call for help when I notice lights coming up behind me in the darkness. I’m on a long straight road and the lights take forever to make their way silently toward me. Eventually, the lights grow bigger and the sound of an engine creeps across the deserted road towards me. As it nears, I realise it’s a lorry. By this time I’m out of the car waiting in the hope it’s somebody come to help me but I realise it’s the same lorry that chased me earlier. It stops and the driver climbs out. I can’t see him because it’s dark and his lights turn him into a silhouette but my phone is clamped to my ear now as I hold a fake conversation telling my imaginary dad that I’ll see him in a minute to show the lorry driver that my dad is coming along right behind him.
He stalks over to me. I hold my hands out and tell him, “look I don’t want trouble”. He doesn’t speak; simply walks. I’m pressed against the car door with no space to back away. “Just leave me alone, my dad will be here…” he but I never finish my sentence because he’s right there inches away from me and a second later I’m laying on the floor clutching my stomach where a powerful blow has just landed knocking the wind clean out of me. I’m aware of being pulled about, my arms pulled uncomfortably behind my back. By the time my senses return I realise that handcuffs are being locked around my wrists joining a set that are already locked around my arm just above my elbows. I try to get up but another hard blow between my shoulder blades puts me back on the tarmac. A third set of cuffs are being locked around my ankles and for the first time I start to feel fear as I realise how helpless I now am.
I’m dragged all the way to the back of his lorry by my ponytail, unable to get to my feet all my weight is on my knees and I can feel the rough road through my jeans tearing at the skin on my knees. I’m crying out all the way but he ignores me, throwing me into the back of his lorry and climbing in after me. Everything goes black for a moment as the rear shutter clanks down to block out the moonlight. Finally a light comes on. I can see a few boxes and other things in the back of the lorry but my sight is blurred with tears. I’m crying out, begging him to let me go but the only response is the sound of his footsteps and the banging of things being moved about.
It feels like hours but is probably just seconds that he leaves me waiting. Eventually, his feet appear before my face. One hand slips under my chest, another under my thighs and I’m lifted easily up onto a large box. Some sort of thick heavy looking strip is lifted over my head and I can feel it being laid across my back under my still bound arms. Another is laid across my lower back. He pulls on something just out of my sight. I hear a clanking and feel the straps across my back tightening quickly until they are pressing me so hard into the box beneath me that I feel they might go right through me. I’m shouting to be released and kicking my legs in protest. A third strap is put over my legs and tightened until movement is impossible.
Finally, his face appears close to mine. “Not so clever now are you, bitch?”
“No,” I admitted. “I’m sorry, sorry. Please I’m so sorry.” I begged him.
“Open your mouth, bitch.” My captor ordered holding up a large red ball gag for me to see.
“Please don’t. Please, I’ll be quiet.” I begged again. Before I could finish speaking I received my first taste obedience training as a cattle prod was applied to the back of my neck. When my senses returned my whole body felt numb and the ball gag had been pushed into my mouth behind my teeth and tied tight around the back of my head. I was also aware of a collar around my neck, fastened tight just above the burning point where the cattle prod had struck. The light went out, I heard the shutter clank open then slam shut and a minute later we were moving..
In my dream I didn’t have to wait long to arrive at our final destination. The restraints securing me to the box were removed and I felt myself being lifted to my feet by two men. They held me between them forcing me to walk out of the lorry and into a cold storage facility. The walk through the facility took a long time due to the short chain connecting my ankles together but they made me shuffle through. I had enough time to notice high windows letting in day light to the large space filled with all sorts of boxes and containers. I was made to shuffle through a door, down steps, through more locked doors and finally into a small room that resembled a bank vault – thick heavy metal door behind which was a smallish room covered in locked drawers of all different sizes and shaped. Off that room led a small corridor on either side of which were smaller chambers each blocked off by a barred door. I noticed some had things stored in them but I was led to an empty room, pushed inside and the barred gate slammed shut on me. “Think about how clever you are now, bitch” said one man as he walked away turning the lights off as he went.
I skipped over the hours of waiting in the cold and dark all alone, still gagged and bound in my tiny cell in dreamworld, although in my mind I was aware of them. My captors returned, removed me from my cell and unlocked my elbow giving me some blessed relief.
The men didn’t speak to me. They pushed me further along the corridor, deeper into the vault. We came into a larger circular chamber that I initially thought was empty but then realised was full of objects around the edges. I didn’t get a chance to look closely because I was made to shuffle to the edge of a dirty stained mattress laid on the floor in the middle of the room. One man held me from behind, the other knelt down releasing the chains from my ankles then unfastening first my shoes and removing them then my jeans and pulling them down along with my knickers. I wanted to fight but what was I to do? My hands were still cuffed behind my back, I was being held. I had no chance of escape at that moment so I waited while my lower half was stripped naked. Next my wrists were uncuffed and my top half was stripped naked too. Finally, my ball gag was removed and I stood there naked, except for the collar that had been put on me, trying not to look too scared.
“Glad to see you’ve learned to control that bitch mouth of yours,” the older of the two men told me. I was sure he had been the lorry driver who kidnapped me.
“Let’s see what else this whore can learn,” the other man said to his friend from behind me. “Get on the mattress and spread your whore legs you slut,” he ordered me.
I looked at my kidnapper, pleading with my eyes although my voice stayed silent, hesitating in the hope that he’d finally take pity on me. Reluctantly I dropped to my knees and lowered myself on to the stinking mattress. Trying to find a stain free part to lay my head on proved pointless so I laid back on a large but less dark looking stain and spread my legs as ordered. I recognised the stench from the mattress as soon as my head touched it – cum and sweat mixed together. Clearly, I wasn’t the first girl to be brought here. I just hoped that the others were all released after.
The younger came to my head. “Am I gonna have to hold you down, you little whore?” He asked. I shook my head but raised my arms either side of my head in case he wanted to hold me anyway; he didn’t. His friend began fingering me. I realised my body was rebelling against me and siding with my rapists. I felt repulsed by these men, physically hurt by them and humiliated by their treatment of me yet I was wet. There was no denying it, my body wanted them and my kidnapper knew it. He was laughing to his friend, “bitch is horny.” He looked at me, “you horny ain’t you, bitch?” My body may have been but I wasn’t still I knew better than to do anything to bring that cattle prod back on me again so I accepted more humiliation and nodded slowly.
My kidnapper exposed his prick to the cold air for just a moment before he warmed it inside me. I felt him slide deep into me as he looked me in the eye in triumph at having taken complete power away from his road adversary. He revelled in his victory over me with every thrust of his dick into my body, lifting my legs in the air to let him insert himself even deeper into me. I closed my eyes to escape him but a hard slap to my face made me open them again. Now his hand found my throat and squeezed. I wanted to resist and fight him off as he choked me but I knew he was too strong for me and would enjoy the extra victory over me so I resisted the urge to fight and looked into his eye as he fucked me and choked me. Maybe it was the lack of air or just my rebellious body but I came from his fucking. I couldn’t help it. He had taken complete control of my body every part of me was his now, from my well fucked pussy right to the decision about when and if I got to take a breath were his and he was loving it. So it seemed, deep down somewhere, was I because I was cumming on that rapist’s dick as it pounded into me and then throbbed deep in my orgasming pussy pumping his cum into me.
He finished and pulled out. I lay there alone for a moment. I looked around and saw him taking a drink from his younger friend. This was my moment. I quickly got to my feet, abandoning all my clothes I ran back towards my cell and towards the entrance to the vault and freedom. I got halfway to the cell before my neck erupted in the agony of an electric shock, my legs gave out under me and I hit the floor hard. I heard laughter from the two men.
“Come back here, bitch.” My kidnapping rapist demanded. I made another dash for the exit but got no more than a metre before another bolt of lightening floored me again. “That’s a shock collar around your neck, bitch. This is setting one,” he called to me. “Don’t make me show you how badly setting 10 will hurt you.” I stayed still as the men laughed at me. “Get on all fours and crawl back to your mattress, bitch.”
I took one last look toward the exit and reluctantly stood up. “I said crawl, bitch.” Another jolt of electricity knocked me down again. “This whore is really fucking stupid,” I heard one of them say. This time I bit down on my pride and got on all fours then crawled back to the filth cum stained rape mattress in the middle of the room. “Get your head down and ass up, whore.” The younger man ordered as he came over to me. I obeyed and a moment later I was filled with dick again as the second man took his turn raping me.
I knew at that point that these men didn’t need restraints to control me. They were going to train obedience into me and I was going to be theirs.
My dream ended there and I woke up briefly. When I fell asleep again the second dream began and I’ll tell you about that next time in Barbie and Jack.
Confessions of a Former Bad Girl 